Men Have Breasts, Too
Photography Spencer Burton
Men think of having pecs, not breasts. That’s why Gil Ben-Kely, a driver coach at SPEEDVEGAS racetrack, considered his 2001 medical diagnosis preposterous: he had breast cancer.
“Even my doctor was shocked,” says Ben-Kely, 59. “He had not seen breast cancer in a male. He called me into his office after reviewing the biopsy report on the fluid that was taken from my left nipple. His face was flush. He could barely speak those dreaded words.”
Gil was living in New Jersey at the time. It was winter and he often wore a T-shirt under his regular shirt. One day he noticed a wet and slightly bloody stain on his undershirt. He paid it no mind, even though the staining and moisture continued for the next two months.
His wife Antonella noticed the stains on her husband’s shirt, too, and expressed concern. Gil summarily dismissed it — probably scratches from their cat, or maybe a small infection, he said.
“I’m proof that men are stubborn,” he says now. “Our arm could literally be falling off and we still don’t go to the doctor.”
That sentiment would soon change. While at the Bronx Zoo with Antonella and their children, daughter Nathalie and son Shon, Gil’s outer shirt became conspicuously wet.
“I reached in to see what the heck was going on,” he says. “I pressed on my nipple and a stream of bloody-like plasma squirted out like a water fountain.” He decided to see a doctor, but still believed it was nothing serious. After all, he had no pain and only mild sensitivity in that area; he was a guy; he had pecs!
Gil’s doctor had no clue what the problem was and referred him to a general surgeon, who ordered a precautionary biopsy. The news that followed was devastating.
Gil eventually had a mastectomy on his left breast, opting not to undergo reconstructive surgery. No lymph nodes were removed either, as the doctor believed the cancer had not spread to areas where it could travel into the bloodstream.
Gil suggested that his right breast be removed as well. But the doctor said it wasn’t necessary — there was no evidence the cancer had spread — and reminded Gil that his insurance likely wouldn’t pay for a second mastectomy.
“I underwent genetic testing for both BRCA 1 and 2 genetic mutations,” the breast cancer susceptibility genes. “I tested negative for both. There’s simply no medical explanation as to why I got breast cancer,” Gil says.
Breast cancer pays no attention to whether a patient is male or female, or has large breasts, small breasts or seemingly no breasts. Most people don’t realize that nipples are an indication that men do have a little breast tissue – just enough, in fact, to allow a tumor where the milk ducts would be.
According to the American Cancer Society, men account for about 1 percent of all breast cancers, most of them in patients 60 to 70 years old. But the incidence of male breast cancer is on the rise, according to the organization. And about 2,600 men, out of an estimated 249,260 cases of invasive breast cancer, are expected to be diagnosed with the disease this year in the United States. Roughly 440 of those men are likely to die from its complications, according to the ACS.
Gil skipped the chemo option. He didn’t relish the idea of throwing up constantly and losing his full head of thick hair. Instead, he took a daily dose of Tamoxifen. The regimen lasts five years and is designed to block the actions of the female hormone estrogen, which is known to contribute to the growth of certain cancers.
“The side effects from the surgery and the pill were still pretty severe, though, to this day,” he says. Gil lost all of his body heat and had to move to a warmer climate. He and his family have been in Las Vegas since 2002.
“It was bad. I was shivering all the time,” he recalls. “My visual ability has significantly diminished; I get extreme hot flashes; I experience bouts of anger; and — it’s uncomfortable to admit — but it’s impacted my sexual drive. It’s not been fun. Thank God for Antonella and my children. They’ve been very supportive, and Antonella is amazing … strong and always positive.”
It’s been tough for a guy born in Haifa, Israel, a man used to living life on his own terms, particularly when it comes to his passion: racing fast cars.
At 23 and following mandatory military service and medical corps training with the Israel Defense Forces, he moved to Milan, and later to Bangkok and Hong Kong, while working in the gemstone trade.
He eventually returned to Italy, this time to Rome, to pursue two of his three passions: Antonella and asphalt- and off-road racing, with sponsorships from Alfa Romeo and Fiat.
After an accident that left his custom built Ford Capri 1600 racecar totaled, Gil temporarily hung up his helmet. In 1989, he moved to New Jersey with his wife and daughter to pursue his third passion – the medical field. He became a certified orthotist and prosthetist, ran a successful business and indulged his need for speed by driving his Ferrari 308 as a pace car at Pocono Raceway in Pennsylvania.
Then, in 2013, it happened again. He woke up and saw that the right side of his shirt, at the nipple, was wet. This time his Las Vegas doctors insisted on a nuclear test to check his lymph nodes.
“Besides being isolated in a white and sterile room with technicians creeping about in space costumes, it was the single most painful experience you could ever imagine,” Gil says. “You have to be awake while they repeatedly stick long needles into your nodes.”
The cancer had not spread. He underwent another mastectomy and is now in year three of his Tamoxifen treatment regimen.
These days he is “pessimistically optimistic.” The cancer is bad but life goes on. Now retired, he still enjoys his passions – his family; his SPEEDVEGAS work instructing drivers how to race around a 1.5-mile track; and the medical field. Now he’s an advocate, though, for the Bret Miller 1T Male Cancer Coalition and the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation in Las Vegas, helping raise money and awareness for male breast cancer.
For an ultra-virile guy like Gil it’s never easy dealing with a cancer that’s associated primarily with women. But these days he embraces the opportunity that life has delivered, and he’s eager to raise awareness of a cancer that doesn’t always play favorites.